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Online Survival-Crafting Games are the new MMORPGs [Pixelkin]

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Read the full article on Pixelkin

Multiplayer survival-crafting games lack a succinct acronym or single genre-defining style, but they’re absolutely taking over the world of modern online gaming. Older MMORPG behemoths like World of Warcraft have begun a steady decline while there doesn’t appear to be any stopping the new juggernauts like ARK: Survival Evolved.

These new breeds of shared sandbox worlds evolved from Minecraft and traditional MMORPGs that had dominated the last decade and a half of online gaming.

Read the full article on Pixelkin



D&D 5E “Storm King’s Thunder” Session 13 Recap

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Streamed, recorded and uploaded every week. Subscribe for our weekly adventures. Join us live on Fridays at 7pm Pacific/10pm Eastern!

Previously on “Storm King’s Thunder”

The inn had a nice warm fire crackling in the corner. I practically flew over to it, warming my body after the chilly encounter with the creatures of living ice. I’d only been embrace by one for seconds but I was still chilled to the bone.

“….giant snowy beasts! Nails as long as daggers. Teeth as sharp as….daggers.” I glanced over and saw that Bryseis had saddled over to the pair of loudmouths in the middle of the inn. It took me a few seconds to realize they were bragging about destroying the Yeti, the same ones who had nearly ended my life. I absently scratched at the scars on my chest.

Bryseis had called Korinn over and the two were feigning interest and fawning over them. I couldn’t help but grin.

“Let’s buy these ladies some drinks!” they declared. The ladies toyed with them like a cat toys with a mouse. Bryseis pressed them about the giants and the lads’ chests puffed out. Suddenly one of them gave out a slight yelp like a puppy. I looked over at Bryseis’ hand had disappeared beneath the table.

“Korinn I could’ve sworn we were the ones who fought the Yeti?” Bryseis said sweetly, flashing a devilish grin. The young men let out a whimper, his eyes wide.

Korinn nodded sagely and turned to the young men. “This one is a bit crazy, a loose cannon,” her hands waved casually at Bryseis. She lowered her voice to a steady growl as she leaned forward. “I suggest for your own good you tell us who you are and where you’re from. Because we know you’re full of shit.”

This week’s session felt like the falling action of a previously exciting episode. We cleaned up our final task as Protectors of Ten Towns, which ended up being a simple one-off encounter with some Glacial Oozes, then traveled back to Bryn Shander to report to the Sheriff, get our reward, and finally get the hell out of this frozen country.

d&dFirst we had to deal with an unconscious frost giant. We’d stumbled upon him via a blood trail while traveling from Lonelywood to Caer-Dineval last session, routing the crag cats and downing the giant.

Instead of a risky interrogation, we opted to use Kazin’s Detect Thoughts spell while the giant was still unconscious, letting me dive into visions from his past – and a dark possible future.

I saw a vision of dozens of viking longships sent out along the coast, with one ship traveling up the river toward the Ten Towns area, lead by Drufi. Were they all searching for the Ring of Winter?

I saw a frost giant with a great horned helmet – their leader? A dark possible future arose, with the figure adorned with the Ring of Winter, his fleet of ships traveling down the Sword Coast freezing everything in its path.

So, definitely don’t want the frost giants acquiring that thing! Unfortunately we don’t know anything about it, and clearly the giants aren’t sure where it is. For now we had to put that quest on the backburner. We opted to simply leave the giant weakened but alive in the snow, with a note warning them away from the Ten Towns region.

We continued our travel South toward Caer-Dineval to investigate the claim of living ice eating horses. Turns out there wouldn’t be a need to investigate at all.

d&dWe opted not to Short Rest after the giant battle, thinking it would be a straight shot to the next town. Instead we literally stumbled upon the living ice on top of a frozen pond. Over half a dozen Glacial Oozes shifted their way toward us while we hurriedly backed up. Roll for initiative!

This was a neat monster I hadn’t seen before, basically a Gelatinous Ooze covered in ice. Thankfully their lack of ranged attack and slow move speed played perfectly into our strengths.

Halfred launched a Spike Growth into half of them, while I used Eldritch Blast (and my Repelling Blast invocation) to knock them further back into it. T.I.M. ran up to melee the nearest one outside the spikes while our Sorcerers launched destructive spells.

We quickly learned that letting the Glacial Oozes touch you was bad news. The nearest one engulfed T.I.M. and a pair of them began knocking him around with freezing pseudopods. Bryseis launched a bouncing Chaos Bolt and her Meteors at the Oozes, and together with T.I.M.’s Spectral Weapon, freed our poor cleric.

I ran up to take over tanking duties. Meanwhile the Oozes were getting absolutely shredded by the Spike Growth, slowing them down and adding up to some really impressive damage. Kazin took some scary damage from a single engulfed attack from another ooze, but the ooze was swiftly destroyed.

It was a neat encounter that showed off some effective tactics and spells on our end, even with my warlock being completely out of spell slots at the start of the battle.

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We traveled onward to Caer-Dineval, where the inn held two braggart blowhards who were claiming to have destroyed the terrorizing Yeti that harried us back in Sessions 8 and 9.

Bryseis saddled right up, turning on her deceptive seductive charm and roping Korinn into playing dumb and listening to their tall tales. She then flicked out her wrist dagger in a very sensitive area, and hilariously shut them up.

The innkeeper wasn’t really interested in what we just did – apparently the pair we’d just chased off were the ones that reported the oozes. Nothing much to do but get a Long Rest and get back on the road. I did identify the gauntlets I’d found on the frost giant as Gauntlets of Ogre Power. A very nice piece of loot for my STR-based melee bladelock.

The return trip to Bryn Shander was uneventful, and we turned in our quests to Sheriff Southwell. He was pleased with our results, rewarding us with 200gp each and the title of Protectors of Ten Towns. We used the loot (and our new titles) to help purchase some riding horses.

It’s finally time to get the hell out of this region. We’ve got several quests to pursue, with the nearest in the next town of Hundelstone. Kazin for one is very excited to leave behind this frozen land of frost giants, ice oozes, and wight walkers.

Streamed, recorded and uploaded every week. Subscribe for our weekly adventures. Join us live on Fridays at 7pm Pacific/10pm Eastern!


Game of Thrones Season 7 Episode 1 “Dragonstone” Recap

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I’ve decided to recap Game of Thrones this season here on my blog.

Warning: Spoilers abound!

It’s been a long, long time since we last saw the Sept of Baelor blow up along with several major characters in the season six finale of Game of Thrones. Season seven starts the end-game that book fans have been waiting since the 90s for – and we only get seven episodes this year!

The first episode, “Dragonstone” mostly played it safe. We checked in with all our remaining characters, remembered what they’re doing, and looked forward to some more exciting things to happen later on.

Jon Snow had quite the adventure last season, culminating in the marquee “Battle of the Bastards” episode. For now he’s content with actually accepting his leadership position as King of the North, and helping rally everyone to the unifying cause of Oh Shit Zombies.

Interestingly he and Sansa don’t actually get along very well, at least politically. There’s love and respect but the two argue like a married couple, and Jon admonishes her for questioning his leadership in front of everyone. Lyanna Mormont also continues to be amazing, which at this point feels like nodding fan service but we’ll take it.

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Poor Samwell is now the only character left overseas (well, greyscale’d Jorah I guess), and he’s had a pretty shitty time in Oldtown. He’s definitely maester material but getting there involves a lot of chamber pot cleaning. Interspersed with that is Samwell eating gruel and trying not to get sick, creating one of the more disgusting montages I’ve ever seen.

And yet he’s still trying to get work done and scouring for information on the white walkers. He’ll definitely be a key ingredient, even if his story is a bit less exciting.

We checked in with a lot of smaller stories amidst our bigger arcs. Bran and Meera made it to the Wall, yay! The Night King’s army includes zombie giants, crap! Sandor Clegane looks into the flames for plot-relevant inspiration, huh! Tormund continues to make gaga eyes at Brienne, yes!

Arya’s finally left her hellish subplot in which she sort-of learned to be a Faceless Man (Faceless Person?) and master assassin last season. It was weird in the books (although we only got about halfway as of the latest book) and weird in the show. I’m thankful she’s back in Westeros and continuing to kick Frey ass.

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Her opening scene also addresses the Lady Stoneheart issue. The show has effectively eliminated a lot of excess characters while giving others expanded roles (Bronn anyone?). In this case getting rid of a very creepy semi-zombified Caitlin Stark and replacing it with an equally vengeful Arya is fantastic. It gives her more cool shit to do though she desperately needs an update to current events – do not go to King’s Landing!

At King’s Landing Cersei is Queen of the Ashes. Her last child, Tommen, committed suicide after witnessing his mother destroy his wife and the clergy by dragonfire. She’s technically in mourning but both her and Jamie seem more mildly concerned than emotional wrecks.

While Daenerys and Jon Snow have been enjoying victories her hold as weakened, to the point where the Lannisters have no one left, and many of the Lords of Westeros only barely support her claim to the throne.

Both Jamie and Cersei seek out allies. Jamie’s is a bit more practical, one of the bigger lords still loyal to them, Samwell’s assshole father Randyll Tarly. Jamie does a pretty effective job convincing Tarly to stay the course, and basically promising him Dorne after the war with Daenerys is finished.

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Cersei’s choice of ally is suitably reckless and risky – Euron Greyjoy. We only just met him last season. He’s the long-lost uncle of Theon and Yara, who came home to murder his father and wrest control of the Iron Islands. He’s the new Ramsay Bolton of mustache-twirling villainy, and he aims to marry Cersei.

Cersei is amused but holds all the cards, for now. Euron promises to bring her a gift and sets off his with fleet.

Another fleet arrives in Westeros. Daenerys Targaryen sets foot on her homeland for the first time in the show’s entire run, and it’s at her birthplace on Dragonstone. It’s a poignant moment with no dialogue as Dany and her crew makes their way through the empty halls formerly occupied by Stannis.

Her first words sent a delightful chill down every viewer who has been patiently yearning for the Mother of Dragons to finally get down to business in Westeros. We shall definitely begin.

Winners 

Lyanna Mormont: She’s a fan-favorite and can do no wrong.

“Torienne” or “Briemund”: I don’t know what the official ship name is for Tormund and Brienne but I’m super in favor of every scene they’re in together.

Zombie Giants: Oh, crap.

Losers

Euron Greyjoy: The show had done a really great job making nuanced characters in shades of grey, instead of simply good guys and bad guys. But between Ramsay and now Euron we’re being subjected to some really groofy, cartoonish villains that are just too easy to hate.

Petyr Baelish: What is this character still doing?

Samwell: Medieval medical school just sucks.


Game of Thrones Season 7 Episode 2 “Stormborn” Recap

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This week on Game of Thrones we saw the return of the enigmatic Red Woman and Arya’s long-lost direwolf Nymeria. We witnessed some awful medieval surgery (with hilariously disgusting jump cut), enjoyed some sexy moments, and learned to respect and fear our new barbaric pirate villain.

Last episode ended with Daenerys in her war room on Dragonstone. This time we get to listen in on her plans. She’s already called together the leaders of Dorne and Highgarden, Ellaria and Olenna respectively, as well as the Greyjoy defectors Yara and Theon, to join her own group of advisers of Tyrion, Missendei, Grey Worm, and Varys.

That’s five women, three eunuchs, and a Tyrion. Not exactly your typical war room for Game of Thrones (or anything) and that’s part of the reason we love and root for Team Targaryen.

Dany and Tyrion’s plans are clever. They don’t want to march into King’s Landing with an army of Unsullied and Dothraki. They’ll be seen as little more than foreign invaders. Instead they plan on using Highgarden and Dorne’s armies (and their mutual animosity of the Lannisters) to siege King’s Landing.

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Dany’s armies from Essos, meanwhile, will hit the Lannisters where it hurts, their homeland at Casterly Rock.

It’s a solid plan but Team Targaryen could always use more allies. When Melisandre shows up for the first time since resurrecting Jon Snow last season, Dany decides to summon the King of the North to come visit and bend the knee.

On one hand – hurrah, it’s the meetup we’ve been waiting seven years for! On the other hand, there’s no way these two hard-headed heroes are going to agree to work together, at least right away.

While Daenerys is focused on conquest, Jon is rightfully focused on defending the North against the tide of White Walkers headed their way. They need more people and more dragonglass. Dragonglass can be made into obsidian weapons that are capable of destroying the white walkers in a single blow.

Sam learned last episode that Dragonstone sits on a huge untapped mine of dragonglass. Armed with that knowledge and an official summons, Jon agrees to meet with Daenerys, much to the chargrin of every noble in the North.

They have a point. If the show has taught us anything being summoned to join a king or queen typically ends in disaster.

Jon is very much Ned Stark’s son, and agrees to the journey to hopefully secure an ally and obtain the dragonglass. Despite their further political bickering, he leaves Sansa in charge of Winterfell. Hopefully this leads to some actual agency and things to do as she’s been sidelined with Jon around.

Sam remains an important POV at the Citadel (which I incorrectly thought was in Essos, it’s actually in the SW corner of Westeros). After the dragonglass discovery he’s found Ser Jorah Mormont, slowly dying of greyscale. Once Sam realizes that Jorah is the son of his late commander, he barely hesitates in finding a risky, experimental healing method that could very well infect him as well.

It’s a pretty gross procedure that reminds us that no matter how cool medieval life can seem, the medical options were not super great. Clearly Jorah still has an important role to play but he’s a long way away from anyone.

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Arya is also pretty far from anyone. She manages to stumble into Hot Pie, whom we hadn’t seen since Season 4. It’s a fun little reunion (remember when Arya passed herself off as a boy?) but more importantly leads to Arya getting an update to current events. Namely that Jon Snow is back in Winterfell. Arya digests this information along with the pie and turns her horse northward.

More Stark reunions, yay! Except Jon just left for Dragonstone. Will they meet each other on the road? Characters tend to fast travel this late in the series and judging by the Next Time On promo, Jon will already make it all the way to Dragonstone next episode.

Oh, and Arya also saw Nymeria, her old direwolf, in a less fun reunion. In the books Arya had frequent wolf-dreams in which she “warg’d” into Nymeria and commanded a wolf pack and hunted Frey men. The show hadn’t done any of that so either this was their minimal nod or perhaps Nymeria will show up again to save Arya.

The marquee scene of the episode followed Ellaria and Yara as they made their way back to Dorne to rally their army for the coming siege. Unfortunately they have to sail past King’s Landing, and Euron shows up to interrupt what could have been a sexy scene between the two women.

I was surprised we got a major battle this early on. It was annoyingly dark and hard to tell what was happening. Apparently Euron’s ships can shoot fireballs?

Euron himself may be a goofy mustache-twirling villain but at least he’s on the ground floor in an assault. He’s a classic pirate-barbarian, screaming into battle and cleaving fools with his axe.

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Two of the Sand Snakes jump into action but they do little against Euron’s plot armor, and he cuts them down. I’ll be annoyed if Euron isn’t at least limping (let alone dying of poison) after the battle.

Euron’s troops easily capture Ellaria and Tyene, the one Sand Snake who is Ellaria’s daughter – a fact that will become painfully relevant next episode.

Euron himself captures Yara. He goads Theon into trying to rescue her, but Theon does what Theon does, and jumps into the water.

Theon is a frustrating coward but we were lead to believe he was on his way to redemption, particularly after he helped Sansa escape from Ramsay in Winterfell.

His actions here felt like a major step backward, even if it does fit his character. Nobody’s really rooting for Theon to be a hero but clearly he still has some importance, if only to report to Dany about the loss.

The night raid demolished their envoy. With the Dorne and Greyjoy leaders subdued and presumably headed to King’s Landing, that puts a major halt on Team Targaryen. Dorne probably won’t mobilize at this point, but I’m sure Cersei will find a way to fuck things up. I also anticipate that the upcoming revenge torture will drive a permanent wedge between her and Jamie.

Winners

Varys: My favorite scene from the episode was the verbal joust between Varys and Daenerys, two characters who have never actually spoken to each other. Both had solid points and great lines to deliver. I’m giving the match point to Varys for standing his ground against his Queen.

Hot Pie: A major theme and literal saying in the show is that you win or you die in the Game of Thrones. Hot Pie never technically played but he still defied that decree, living out a good life cooking for people at an inn. Now could we please get a check-in for poor Gendry? His arms have to be tired after rowing a boat since season 3.

Losers

The Sand Snakes: The entire Dorne story line was ill-conceived and poorly executed. I guess it’s fitting that we saw it come crashing down during Euron’s night raid. Only Tyene and momma Ellaria survived, and it doesn’t take a hardcore GoT fan to know their fate may be far worse than the ones Euron killed.

Petyr Baelish: Two weeks in a row, way to go Baelish! Maybe don’t mention how creepy you are with Sansa around Jon? What are you up to?


This Friday’s D&D Session Bumped Up to Tonight

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The Summer of vacations and reschedules continues! Just a small one this week. Instead of our usual Friday evening session, we’ll be going live tonight with “Storm King’s Thunder” at the same 7pm Central/10pm Eastern time. Catch us on YouTube as always.

I will try and get the recap up Friday morning.

We should be back to our regularly scheduled programming after that.

Thank you!


D&D 5E “Storm King’s Thunder” Session 14 Recap

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Streamed, recorded and uploaded every week. Subscribe for our weekly adventures. Join us live on Fridays at 7pm Pacific/10pm Eastern!

Previously on “Storm King’s Thunder”

T.I.M. made an alarming noise that I recognized as ‘danger.’ We looked up and saw three men repelling down the nearby cliff, their actions muffled by the raging river beside us.

Before I could shout a warning I heard a crackle of energy behind me. A white light exploded from all around us as a powerful blast of lightning surged from Bryseis’ fingers and slammed into the middle figure. He dangled helplessly on his rope, and I swear I saw the inside of his skeletal structure while electricity arced through his body.

T.I.M.’s eyes lit up and he raised a steady hand. Another of the attackers suddenly seized up, and also dangled precariously. Korinn laughed devilishly as I saw a translucent hand gently untie the knots holding the figure up. He plummeted a dozen feet to the ground – right into the waiting opening of Korinn’s Bag of Holding.

“I-I think Korinn just swallowed that man!”

We finally left the Ten Town regions and arrived in Hundelstone to the South. We actually had a quest here – talk to Thwip Ironbottom about the coded ledger.

This was our longest quest chain since discovering the coded ledger in a destroyed house in Nightstone. The ledger had lead us to Beldora in Bryn Shander, where we were promptly distracted by the Frost Giant attack and various problems in Ten Towns.

d&dThwip was a helpful NPC, a friendly if eccentric gnome tinkerer. Most importantly he was a Harper and privy to some important information.

The decoded ledger provide a map of Fearun with giant activities noted in specific regions. It wasn’t quite the info-bomb we were looking for, but it’s interesting to see where the giants are located and what they’re doing.

The quest chain evolved into seeking the Harper’s help (or possible membership) from their base of operations in Everlund. Thwip provided a nifty clockwork dragon pet that we can use to convince the Harpers to work with us.

Unfortunately Everlund is crazy far from where we are. The DM had warned us that there’s a lot of overland travel in “Storm King’s Thunder,” but I still wasn’t quite prepared.

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With a 20+ Persuasion roll we learned that seeking and helping the Harpers would reward us with an invaluable fast-travel option through some sort of teleportation network.

That would be a huge boon in what looks like a campaign that requires a shit-ton of travel. I guess that’s our next destination!

We haggled and bought a few knick-knacks from Thwip, spent the night in the inn, and continued on our long road trip to the East. The safest route to Everlund would also take us through Xantharl’s Keep via Luskan and Mirabar. At the Keep we had a quest to deal with a Zhentarim leader named the Weevil.

As if to remind us of the Zhentarim threat, a half dozen Zhent mercenaries ambushed us near a bridge between Hundelstone and Luskan. We were trapped between a mountain and a cliff leading down to the river. Half of them came repelling down the cliff while the other half climbed up from the river.

Then we proceeded to completely kick their ass.

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Bryseis went first, critically hitting with her signature Chaos Bolt at 3rd level, doing 40 damage after using her Empower metamagic. With our Massive Damage rules, she downed one of the mercenaries in a single blow, and he dangled from his rope.

Next was a fun one-two punch from T.I.M. and Korinn. Our warforged cleric used Hold Person to paralyze one of the Zhentarim, while Kroinn used Mage Hand to undo the ropes he was using to repel down. He fell about 15 feet, and Korinn scooped him up inside her Bag of Holding.

Brilliant! We basically just played Pokémon with that guy.

Two down, and the enemy hadn’t even acted yet. The 3rd repeller made it down to start attacking Korinn. Our poor DM experienced a string of critical failures, with his only hit being deflected by a Shield spell.

I turned my attention to the three coming up from the river, using my Eldrtich Blast to send one of them tumbling back down into the water.

Though I’ve been focusing on melee attacks with my Pact of the Blade, the 10-ft knockback from my Repelling Blast Invocation has proven amazingly useful in nearly every combat situation we’ve been in. In this case, knocking one them into the river proved more useful than doing any real damage.

Halfred began sinking arrows into the others while Bryseis switched to Magic Missiles. Korinn stood her ground in melee combat, using a combination of her dagger and Shocking Grasp, while T.I.M. attempted to flank by scaling the cliff himself and throwing out his healing leaches (Inflict Wounds).

Ahh, gotta love these once per day encounters. Unleash everything!

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I didn’t actually end up using any of my spell slots. Instead I leapt off my horse, pulled out my Psi-Glaive and plunged it into the nearest Zhentarim mercenary, cutting him down. That earned me my first Inspiration all campaign, huzzah!

The merc I thought I knocked into the river slowly made his way back up after some DEX checks. After being shot several times by Halfred, he made his way up to us only to collapse and surrender.

The battle was won and we’d barely sustained any damage – the one attacker to get a hit off made the mistake of shooting Bryseis, and she had snapped her fingers and engulfed him in flame via her Tiefling Hellish Rebuke.

I’m all for tactically challenging fights but occasionally it does feel great to just kick all kinds of ass.

Several of the Zhentarim were actually left alive – the zapped unconscious one from Massive Damage, the paralyzed one in the Bag of Holding, and the wounded, water-soaked merc who surrendered.

We looted and questioned them but they didn’t tell us anything we didn’t already knew, other than they were based out of Neverwinter. They’d gotten the kill orders from Captain Zellan, who has a personal vendetta against us from his failed attack at Nightstone.

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We entertained the idea of traveling to Neverwinter ourselves and confronting their boss, but it would be quite the detour and I’m still inclined to believe that our real prize – Captain Zellan and possibly the Weevil, will be found in Xantharl’s Keep. The merc confirmed that, though none of us really trusted him.

Bryseis has a reputation of…treating Zhentarim rather poorly. There’s definitely something personal there. After the interrogation she kicked the bound man down into the river, then used mage hand to untie the unconscious man and watch him fall to his death.

We released the last Zhentarim ambusher from the bag, and I immediately used Kazin’s Awakened Mind to send the fear of the void into him – mostly to save him from another execution. The man’s eyes went wide and he took off running.

The Zhentarim were defeated, and we were growing agitated at their ability to find us. Hopefully we can find some answers (and more Zhents to kill) when we eventually make it to Xantharl’s keep, though it’s still about a week’s travel away.

Streamed, recorded and uploaded every week. Subscribe for our weekly adventures. Join us live on Fridays at 7pm Pacific/10pm Eastern!


Game of Thrones Season 7 Episode 3 “The Queen’s Justice” Recap

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Daenerys suffered a major blow last week and the hits just keep on coming in “The Queen’s Justice.” Euron makes good on a present for Cersei, Ice and Fire finally meet in Dragonstone, and we get another Stark reunion in Winterfell.

Cersei’s lack of allies isn’t slowing her down much. As the first reigning Queen of the Seven Kingdoms she’s beginning to prove that when backed into a corner she remains incredibly dangerous.

Euron waltzes into King’s Landing as a hero, leading prisoners Ellaria, Tyene, and Yara while the crowd jeers and throws food. Yara seemingly disappears for the rest of the episode while he hurls the Dornish women at Cersei’s feet.

By crippling the Dornish war machine Euron is a hero in Cersei’s eyes. But his marriage proposal is gently rebuffed until after the war. This only appears to goad him further, even taunting Jaime by wanting some sexual advice.

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We already knew Euron was gigantic asshole, but this episode also confirmed that most people correctly believe that Jamie is romantically involved with his sister – and as Queen Cersei no longer cares to hide it.

Ellaria was responsible for Princess Myrcella’s death back in season 5. Cersei relishes in the chance to enact cruel torture on both the mother and daughter in the most predictable way, by poisoning the daughter in front of the mother.

And is anyone shocked that revenge torture makes Cersei super horny? Change of sheets indeed.

I predicated last week that Cersei’s cruel actions toward the prisoners would drive a wedge between Jamie and Cersei, but clearly he’s still totally on board with her plans (and her body).

Jaime is a very frustrating character. He was on track for redemption and self-knowledge after losing a battle, losing his hand, and spending time with Brienne on the road back to King’s Landing, even giving her the sword and mission to save the Stark girls.

Skip ahead several years and Jaime appears to be back to his old cocky season 1 self, madly in love with his sister and basically just her pawn and plaything. And Olenna Martell gets to call him out on it.

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Yep, we got to see Higharden (House Martell), and Casterly Rock (House Lannister), for the first time all series.

Grey Worm and the Unsullied sailed all the way around Westeros to attack Casterly Rock, as per Tyrion’s and Dany’s plan. The siege is narrated by Tyrion, who explains a hidden entrance in the sewer system that he had created growing up there.

The infiltration is a success, but the Lannister army is much lighter than expected. Grey Worm looks back out onto the harbor to find the Greyjoys have shown up to destroy their ships (through surely Euron himself must still be in King’s Landing).

Worse, Jaime took the bulk of the army along with Bronn and Randall Tarly and marched on Highgarden, the other local ally to Team Targaryen. Highgarden rolls over and we’re treated to a delicious scene between the matron of House Martell, Olenna, and the Kingslayer.

It’s hard to be confident when defeated but Olenna remains sharp-tongued when she fully admits to poisoning and killing Joffery in season four. I believe the audience already knew this (or was the reigning theory) but Jaime certainly did not.

Olenna mocks him for supporting Cersei and clearly gets under his skin. Olenna drinks some poison provided by Jaime, putting a final end to the entire Highgarden subplot that began back in season three.

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The marquee moment of the episode was the highly-anticipated first meeting between Daenerys Targaryen and Jon Snow. Thanks to some high-level, late game fast-travel abilities that everyone apparently now possesses, Jon and Davos already arrive at Dragonstone.

As King of the North Jon’s been summoned to bend the knee to Daenerys, who has only recently shown up in Westeros and declared herself Queen.

The meeting between our two lead heroes was full of fan service, bravado, quips, and many, many side-eyed reaction shots. Jon is adorably uncomfortable yet passionate, while Daenerys is haughty and knowledgeable. It was fantastic, even with the very predictable outcome.

Jon is headstrong and doesn’t see the point in bending the knee and even fighting Cersei when the Night King is approaching the Wall with an army of the dead.

For Daenerys this is the first time she’s ever heard about an undead army and responds accordingly. Both sides refuse to give an inch, and it’s up to their advisers – namely Tyrion, to find common ground with the dragonglass.

Daenerys agrees to let Jon mine the dragonglass as a show of good faith. Baby steps toward a possible alliance.

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The scene between Jon and Tyrion (their first since the first season) was equally fantastic. Jon is an excellent leader and warrior but admits to not being so good with words, while Tyrion proves to be an enviable diplomat.

I’m interested to see how long Jon remains by Daenerys at Dragonstone – she basically threatens him for not bending the knee by declaring he and the North to be in open rebellion.

As an audience with multiple Points of Views we’re privy to more information than both characters. We know the undead army is very much the threat Jon espouses. But as Tyrion points out, it’s difficult thing for anyone outside of the North to believe or care about. Likewise ignoring Cersei isn’t an easy choice either, as Baelish warns Sansa while Winterfell prepares for the Night King.

Cersei has won some major victories and pulled the rug out from Team Targaryen. If our heroes have any hope of winning the Game of Thrones and surviving the Long Night, they’ll have to find a way to join forces and deal with both threats.

Winners

The Meeting of Ice and Fire: Our two biggest leads of the series finally came together after seven years, and the sheer presence in that room was a sight to behold. As always, it was Tyrion that stole that show, though Davos’ too-brief introduction elicited the biggest laugh.

Olenna Martell: A great character remains defiant, witty, and ruthless to the very end. Hopefully her tongue-lashing got through to Jaime.

Jorah Mormont: Jorah’s back baby! Sam’s risky procedure worked perfectly, and Jorah is now greyscale-free and can presumably return to Team Targaryen.

Losers

The Unsullied: Team Targaryen won a battle but at a sharp cost. With the Unsullied’s ships destroyed they’re forced to either stay at a food-less Casterly Rock, or march on foot across Westeros.

Bran Stark: “Hey sis, long time no see. Remember the time you married a brutal murderer and rapist? Man that was something. See ya later!”

Geography: Remember when we would spend entire episodes getting characters from one location to the next? Ain’t nobody got time for that anymore! Pull up a map and be shocked with how quickly Jon made it to Dragonstone, and Grey Worm to Casterly Rock.


Pyre Review [Pixelkin]

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Read the full review at Pixelkin

If you hear about RPGs and Sports games, you may recall the RPG-like campaign stories injected into otherwise traditional sports, such as The Journey mode in FIFA 17, or the new Longshot mode in upcoming Madden NFL 18.

Pyre, beloved indie studio Supergiant games’ third title, does the opposite. Sports-like gameplay is integral to escaping the intriguing fantasy world that you and your diverse band of outcasts are trapped within. The results are an innovative sports-as-combat battlefield that meshes well with Supergiants’ heavy focus on story-telling, art design, and music, though Pyre ultimately falls short of their previous efforts.

Read the full review at Pixelkin



Marvel Comics Final Thoughts – All-New X-Men (2012), Vol. 1-3

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Writer: Brian Michael Bendis

Artists: Stuart Immonen, David Marquez, David Lafuente

Issues: All-New X-Men (2012) #1-15

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All-New X-Men #8

Avengers Vs. X-Men was a major event in the Marvel universe. It finally reversed the Scarlet Witch’s “No More Mutants” decree back in 2005’s House of M, turned Cyclops and a few of the more grey-area X-Men into hidden revolutionaries, and led some of the more pro-active X-Men into joining forces with the Avengers.

AvX also transitioned veteran Marvel scribe and architect of the modern Marvel universe Brian Michael Bendis from Avengers books into X-Men. Specifically, a new flagship series called All-New X-Men.

All-New X-Men‘s story hook had me immediately rolling my eyes. The Beast, fed up with Cyclops’ post-AvX turn as a murderer and mutant revolutionary, decides the best course of action is to travel back in time to when the original five X-Men were starry-eyed teenagers under the tutelage of Professor Xavier (Marvel plays it coy with the dates. Jean is sporting a 1960’s era bob cut but obviously our modern heroes aren’t 60 year olds…).

Beast’s plan is to bring Cyclops, Jean Grey, Iceman, Beast, and Angel forward in time to our world, and have them convince our Cyclops that he’s a grade-A asshole and needs to stop.

I’m rarely a fan of Marvel’s time-travel stories as they always play fast and loose with the consequences. I’m always confused if we’re going with the time is a river concept or infinite multiple realities, and Marvel just tends to use whichever works better for the story.

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All-New X-Men #2

My second problem is that this is a batshit insane path for Beast to walk down. Hank McCoy has been the most even-keeled and moral X-Men on the roster since the beginning. He even quit the X-Men when he found out about X-Force, and only returned when Wolverine splintered off from Cyclops and founded a new school.

Despite my initial misgivings, I ended up really enjoying All-New X-Men. Credit to Bendis for focusing squarely on the new arrivals and the shock that comes from traveling several decades into the future and realizing all your hopes and dreams were dashed, pretty badly.

The artwork is also really, really good.

The first arc, “Yesterday’s X-Men” (#1-5), sets up Beast traveling back in time and grappling at least a little bit with the consequences of fucking up the space-time continuum.

The original five X-Men are shunted forward in time to the Jean Grey School, and within the space of about an issue are already battling the older Cyclops’ revolutionary team of Emma Frost, Magneto, and Magik.

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All-New X-Men #4

Interestingly while All-New X-Men temporarily replaced Uncanny X-Men as the flagship X-book, Uncanny would start up soon within a couple months, spinning directly out of the events in “Yesterday’s X-Men.”

Bendis does a great job setting up “old” Cyclops’ conflicted path. He remains in self-denial that he had any responsibility for the Professor’s death while powered by the Phoenix Force. He sees his actions as justified, as the aftermath has new mutants popping up all over the world – though someone needs to remind Cyke (and Marvel) that the same thing happened after the events of Second Coming when Hope returned and formed her own team of new mutants.

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All-New X-Men #3

While I loved seeing Cyclops, Magneto, etc wrestling with their messed up powers post-Phoenix, I’m glad they spun off into their own series so we could focus more on our teenage newcomers.

Of the original five, only Beast and Iceman are basically un-fucked in the modern timeline – and original Beast isn’t even blue and furry yet.

Cyke’s woes with his older self are tackled immediately, but there’s still tons of room for dram, including a chance meeting with Mystique that leads to our young team dealing with another villainous mutant group in “Here to Stay” (#6-10).

Mystique teams up with Sabretooth and Lady Mastermind (which Bendis humorously, and correctly, points out as being a super sexist name). They begin a string of armed robberies that implicate the new X-Men team. This leads to a showdown between them and the Uncanny Avengers when they show up later.

The compelling stories of the series, however, is the excellent focus on our young heroes. I thought young Cyclops would be the star of the ensemble, but it’s actually Jean Grey, and I couldn’t be more satisfied with her treatment.

She’s one of the few Marvel heroes to actually stay dead for over a decade. She has a very complicated history with Wolverine, Cyclops, and (it turns out later) Beast. None of which teen Jean is aware of.

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All-New X-Men #6

Vaulting forward in time also jump-starts her powerful telepathic abilities, which she hadn’t yet had any time or training in (being only telekinetic before that). She suffers from not being able to control it, including hearing everyone’s thoughts all the time, from love to fear.

Jean plays a morally questionable tactic on Angel, the one new X-Men who definitely does not want to stay in our timeline.

He’s figured out from meeting his adult self and from nobody telling him anything that things do not go well for him in the future, and he’s correct. From being turned into Archangel as Apocalypse’s horseman to basically being a version of Apocalypse himself, Warren’s been put through the ringer in the last few years. His adult self is basically a mind-wiped hippie child.

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All-New X-Men #8

Young Angel tries to go home and Jean Grey steps up and dominates his mind, forcing him to be happy and stay. That’s pretty fucked up and makes Jean Grey an exceptionally complex character.

It also leads to Angel quitting the team and joining up with old Cyclops’ team when they visit the Jean Grey school looking for more recruits in “Out of Their Depth” (#11-15).

In Uncanny X-Men Cyke and company have been recruiting new mutants, setting up shop in an old Weapons X facility and turning it into an underground dormitory and training room. Cyclops has the audacity to call it his own school, named after Xavier.

He shows up at the Jean Grey School and recruits the Cuckoo sisters and young Angel. Jean attempts to assert control once again, and this time it goes very badly when the other side now has multiple telepaths (though Emma’s doesn’t really work anymore).

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All-New X-Men #11

Another tense fight breaks out but cooler heads prevail, and the teams disperse. Once again Bendis spends a large portion of time on Jean Grey, and the blossoming student-teacher friendship between her and Kitty Pryde.

In “Out of their Depth” the Mystique crime spree gets our team into a scrape with the newly formed Uncanny Avengers.

The Uncanny Avengers provide two unique complicated relationships. Havok is the leader, and Cyclops’ brother. Teen Cyclops didn’t even know his brother Alex was a mutant. It’s a touching scene and a brief moment of levity and love that helpfully balances out the mountain of shit our poor time-travelers have had to deal with.

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All-New X-Men #12

The other relationship doesn’t just scale the shit mountain but tumbles right down the other side. Scarlet Witch is also on the team, and it’s already caused numerous problems with fellow Uncanny Avenger team-mate Rogue.

It causes even more problems for I-can’t-help-but-read-your-mind Jean Grey, who sees the No More Mutants scene and flips the fuck out in the best way possible.

As someone who has been an X-Men fan longer than any other Marvel property, I was cheering to see Jean Grey lash out in pure emotional anger at Scarlet Witch, who had been absolved of all crimes through the terrible retcon story in The Children’s Crusade.

Like their meeting with the old Cyke team, cooler heads prevail and the fight is broken up.

The series recognized that we’ve been teased with several big fights that stop before they really get started. At the end of “Out of their Depth” we finally get a showdown between our group and Mystique’s right when she’s meeting with Hydra agents and the Silver Samurai. Battle time!

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All-New X-Men #13

This time Jean gets to prove she’s a fucking rockstar. Lady Mastermind tries to unlock the Phoenix from her mind and Jean goes with it, projecting her Phoenix-empowered self to freak everyone out – including Wolverine!

It’s a fun battle filled with powers flying everywhere. And at the end Kitty Pryde gets to punch Mastermind in the mouth. Delicious.

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All-New X-Men #14

If you can’t tell by the larger-than-usual number of pics in this post, I adored the artwork. Stuart Immonen had done a few issues and arcs here and there (most notably Fear Itself) but All-New X-Men represents a series he really puts his stamp on, and it’s incredible.

The action scenes are amazingly fun without being too complex, the colors rich and vibrant, and the large rotating cast of characters recognizable, distinct, and heroic. It’s the exact kind of superhero comic art I love.

The art kept me devouring each issue, but Bendis’ writing has also never been better, and I’ve read most of his work by this point. He’s equally adept at writing goofy humorous scenes (most of which involve young Iceman) as well as very heavy dramatic moments, most of which involve Kitty Pryde and/or Jean Grey.

There’s a particular scene I want to highlight where Kitty responds to Havok’s speech in Uncanny Avengers #5, when he talks about identity and doesn’t even want to use the M-Word.

Kitty uses her Jewish heritage as an analogy to being proud of being a mutant. It’s an organic and well-written moment and you almost forget it’s still basically a series about super-powered people punching each other.

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All-New X-Men #13

As a Bendis book All-New X-Men is heavily steeped in Marvel continuity. It’s rewarding for long-time readers but a tricky series to jump into (at the very least, Avengers Vs. X-Men needs to read first).

I’ve never been so satisfied at being wrong about my initial thoughts on the book, given its timey-whimey hook. In 2012 Bendis and Immonen teamed up to create one of the best post-AvX/Marvel Now adventures I’ve read yet, and I’ll definitely be reading all 41 issues.

 


D&D 5E “Storm King’s Thunder” Session 15 Recap

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Streamed, recorded and uploaded every week. Subscribe for our weekly adventures. Join us live on Fridays at 7pm Pacific/10pm Eastern!

Previously on “Storm King’s Thunder”

We strode into the tavern, smelling of smoke and seawater. We hadn’t so much as sat down after our trip from Hundelstone before we were forced to deal with yet another giant-related crisis here in Luskan.

At least this time the giants were already dead. If only every city had a powerful conclave of wizards to defend them.

With evening setting in we opted to unwind at the local tavern and canvas the locals for any pertinent information before turning in for the night.

Despite what must have been a terrifying attack just hours ago, the tavern was full of patrons. I suppose everyone deals with terror in their own way.

“T.I.M.,” Halfred whispered excitedly, “this is where you challenge them to a drinking contest!”

T.I.M.’s eyes lit up in a familiar way. He ambled to the middle of the room and shouted in his disarmingly friendly voice, “I challenge everyone in this bar to a drinking contest!”

Halfred practically clapped his hands in glee. “A drinking contest! Who’s in?” In an instant several older dockworkers, who looked like they practically lived here, accepted, their faces plastered with devilish grins.

Bryseis wasted no time and began collecting bets from curious onlookers, turning the entire event into a spectacle before I had any chance to react.

Our dragonborn sorcerer confidently walked up to the group, shotglass already in hand. “Oh, I’ll take you up on that,” she declared with twinkle in her eye.

I’m not totally thrilled with “Storm King’s Thunder” thus far. The linear intro in the beginning was, well, incredibly linear. Now that we’re braving the wide open world I’m finding it way too wide open.

The sheer amount of travel that lies before us is staggering, and we prove once again this week that once per day travel encounters are laughably easy.

After our encounter with Zhentarim ambushers last week we had a more peaceful encounter on our way to Luskan, a friendly group of refugees heading toward Fireshear.

After sharing a meal we learned that Luskan may not be safe harbor. The Frost Giant longships had made it down the Sword Coast and were attacking the port city.

We suggested to the nice family that they make their way to Hundelstone, away from the coast instead. The next day we hauled ass to Luskan, thinking yet another town needed saving from giants.

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Instead we made it to the aftermath. Luskan is home to a conclave of wizards who rained a firestorm down upon the attacking giants, killing them and destroying their ships.

The giants were dead but the port was on fire. Bryseis dove into the sinking longship to search for loot among the wreckage (finding a sizable cache of gold) while we helped put the fires out.

With the crisis averted we were free to socialize in town that evening, which of course lead to a drinking game at the local bar.

Korinn and T.I.M. threw down with some local portly bar patrons while Bryseis took bets. At one point only Korinn and T.I.M. were left, until our warforged cleric gently crashed to the ground, leaving Korinn victorious. Don’t out-drink the dragonborn, kids!

I enjoyed that we could shop for some magical items in town, at least spell scrolls and wands. Unfortunately even the one-use scrolls were a bit too expensive, and we can’t exactly wander outside of town and grind for money.

Onward it is! So far the adventure consists of giants doing bad things and us scrambling to pick up the pieces in their wake. I enjoyed the Protector of Ten Towns bit because it felt like we got to proactively do things and make fun choices.

But on this lengthy road trip we’re once again at the mercy of traveling and having things happen to us.

We hit one notable encounter on our journey from Luskan to Mirabar. We came upon a young noble’s entourage traveling in the opposite direction. Their guard and horse were slain, and they themselves captured by a circling group of gnolls.

d&dHalf a dozen gnolls, as well as a pack lord and Fang of Yeenoghu threatened the group. We were allowed a brief moment to prep (everyone cast your buff spells!) before engagement.

As I’ve mentioned before, a single day encounter lets us start at maximum strength and unleash all our considerable power and spell slots, making us far more powerful than if we were in the middle of a dungeon.

We’re also a very spell-heavy and range-oriented team, so outdoor encounters are even more geared toward our favor.

We obliterated the poor gnolls.

Bryseis and Korinn fired off elemental spells of destruction, from mini meteors to chromatic orbs and witch bolts. Halfred launched his Spike Growth spell, but gnolls proved a bit smarter than Glaical Oozes and were able to maneuver out and around it.

T.I.M. and I ran up to engage the enemy as they closed in. My Armor of Agathys proved useful (no more cold enemies, yay!) as at 3rd level it gives me 15 temporary hit points and deals a whopping 15 cold damage to anyone that strikes me. It’s exceedingly satisfying to have a gnoll do 3 damage to my shield, then turn around and see them die from it.

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Only T.I.M. took any damage, which has become a running joke now. His very high AC (around 19 I believe) simply forces enemies to always roll 20+ on their attack rolls against him. T.I.M. had the final laugh with some wicked damage from his Inflict Wounds.

The young man was grateful (and a bit pompous) for the timely rescue. He decided returning to Mirabar was a better idea and we agreed to escort them (for some payment of course, we remembered how expensive the magic stuff was in Luskan!).

The rest of the trip proved uneventful. I’m thankful we’re not constantly running into random encounters every day, and hope that in the later stages of this campaign they become even less frequent.

At Mirabar we were invited to stay at the young noble’s Aunt’s house and enjoyed the lavish amenities. The next morning we met with the Aunt who actually offered us a quest: meet with an old, former adventurer in Neverwinter who apparently can bankroll us!

That sounds great but it’s in the opposite direction of our current destination (Everlund). Hopefully once we ally with the Harpers we can teleport there and get some of that sweet, sweet money!

Next week – turning south to Xantharl’s Keep, taking our feud directly to the Zhentarim.

Streamed, recorded and uploaded every week. Subscribe for our weekly adventures. Join us live on Fridays at 7pm Pacific/10pm Eastern!


Game of Thrones Season 7 Episode 4 “The Spoils of War” Recap

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Daenerys has suffered several losses since arriving in Westeros, and the Mother of Dragons isn’t exactly a gracious loser. This week Team Targaryen fights back in one of the most spectacular battle sequences ever put on television.

Before Daenerys departs she spends some time with Jon, who’s happily plumbing the depths of Dragonstone for Dragonglass.

Jon’s made a discovery: ancient cave paintings of the Children of the Forest, along with the First Men. He and Daenerys bond over the mystical and historical significance. Even more importantly, Jon dramatically points out paintings of what are clearly several White Walkers.

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We’d previously learned that the Children of the Forest originally created the White Walkers to battle the First Men that arrived in Westeros. Here we learn that it took everyone banding together to drive them back – an important point that Jon makes with Daenerys.

Dany seems at least partially swayed and agrees to help Jon and the North fight the coming tide of death – but only if Jon bends the knee and accepts Daenerys as Queen of the Seven Kingdoms.

Jon remains stubborn, though Dany points out that if he submits, his people will follow. There’s a nice sequence where Jon and Davos speak with Missendei and learn that her people follow her not because of her name or her dragons, but because they love and respect her as a person and a ruler.

For now our two leads continue to stare at each other with awkward tension (he’s technically her nephew…right??) but we’re definitely building some tiny bridges here. In fact I see a political marriage as the perfect solution to let them work together and save face.

While Jon’s still there we get an awkward reunion between he and Theon, who’s returning from his embarrassing defeat from Euron’s ambush.

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I honestly thought Jon was going to walk up and start beating the shit out of Theon for his attack and pillage of Winterfell back in season two. But I’d forgotten that Theon sort-of redeemed himself when he helped Sansa escape Ramsay Bolton in season five.

Theon, like Jaime, is flip-flopping within a frustrating redemptive arc. Jaime is busy bringing the army, gold, and rations from Highgarden and Casterly Rock to King’s Landing.

Humorous observation: travel time this season only matters when the plot needs it to matter.

Jaime is with Bronn, who’s delightfully quippy as ever. They meet Dickon Tarly, son of Randal Tarly and older brother to Samwell. We actually briefly met Dickon last season when Sam visited his old home, but his Average White Dude looks and demeanor make him hilariously forgettable.

Jaime can’t help but be charming and compassionate. He waves off Randal Tarly’s suggestions to flog the stragglers (Tarly looked quite disappointed) and empathizes with Dickon’s first experience with battle. Bronn, of course, is full of sarcastic jokes. We love Bronn.

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At this point it was time to start predicting which one of these three men will soon die. Dickon the Named Red Shirt is the obvious choice, but Bronn’s fate grows increasingly suspect, especially during his heroic efforts in the battle to come.

Before we get to the battle, let’s take a brief sojourn back to Winterfell, home of Stark reunions and Baelish’s patented Baleful Glances.

Arya arrives at the gates, and after a lightly humorous encounter with the disbelieving guards, is reunited with Sansa, then Bran.

I was disappointed with the sisters’ reunion at first. I was expecting tears and confessions of sibling love. But both young women have grown significantly and endured mountains of hardship and suffering since they lost saw each other.

The armor they’ve built around themselves remains steadfast. Yet they’ve both reached the destinies they wanted back in season one – Sansa, the Lady of Winterfell, Arya the lone wolf warrior.

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And Bran is, well, weird. In a heartbreaking scene with Meera she declares that he died back in the cave when the White Walkers attacked them last season, and he doesn’t disagree. He’s seemingly distanced himself from even being Bran Stark anymore, and is almost completely devoid of personality. If the writers are tying to make us hate Bran, they’re succeeding.

One weird moment Bran gets this episode is with a meeting with Petyr Baelish. Baelish presents Bran with the dagger that was wielded by his would-be assassin all the way back in the second episode of the first season, after he’d been recently crippled by Jaime’s shove from the tower.

That’s an awkwardly long callback, even if the dagger did technically start the entire War of the Five Kings. Baelish had told Caitlyn Stark that the dagger belonged to Tyrion Lannister. She then took him captive and the rest is history.

Bran seems to hint that he knows Baelish was/is up to no good by throwing his “chaos is a ladder” line back at him when Baelish lies that he doesn’t know who the dagger belongs to.

I don’t think anyone really cares about the dagger anymore, and I was surprised it was even brought up again after so many years. Maybe someday we’ll get a reveal on who wanted to murder Bran – the reigning theory being it was Baelish himself who wanted to create the war, thus the chaos ladder he could climb (and climb he did, becoming Lord of the Vale).

The real significance of the dagger is that Bran bequeaths it to Arya. Remember, the dagger is Valyrian steel, like Jon’s sword Longclaw, so it’s capable of destroying White Walkers (as well as Brienne’s sword, forged from Ned Stark’s and given by Jaime). Could be a nifty bit of foreshadowing when Arya finds herself knee-deep in the undead army.

Hopefully Bran gets something to actually do soon. Right now it’s mostly just him being an emotionless dick to everyone in Winterfell.

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Arya’s best sequence isn’t the sibling reunion we were expecting. It was the reunion with Brienne. I’d forgotten that she and Arya had a brief history together when Brienne tracked her and the Hound in season four.

Arya notes that Brienne was the only person she knew that had fought Sandor and won.

Naturally Arya wants to spar with Brienne herself in what instantly became a fan-favorite moment. Brienne is always fun to watch, and Arya gets to show off her legitimately awesome water-dancer fighting style.

It was a fun scene but Winterfell has oddly become a bit boring and safe right now. It feels like we’re just twiddling our thumbs until the Night King’s army crosses the Wall and the real action starts.

For some real action we return to the central part of the continent. Jaime and company have unloaded the gold into King’s Landing while the army rests and brings over the rest of the supplies. They suddenly hear the pounding of thousands of horse hooves and scramble into ready positions, grabbing spears and shields as they adopt a classic phalanx formation.

The Greeks never had to deal with a dragon, however.

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Drogon and Daenerys come cresting over a screaming horde of tens of thousands of Dothraki calvary. It’s the first time we’ve really seen the Dothraki, and a dragon, attacking an army.

With a single word from momma, Drogon melts a path through the defending Lannisters and Tarly forces as the Dothraki come screaming through.

What followed was a fantastic and brutal sequence that saw horses being cut down and people being cooked alive in their armor. If Euron’s aquatic night-raid was too dark and awkwardly shot this battle was the opposite. It was full of grand tracking shots, lingering death knells, and even roaming aerial POVs from Drogon.

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It felt like I was living an amazing fantasy real-time strategy game come to life. I’ve rarely been more impressed with Game of Thrones from a sheer production and execution stand point. It was a glorious pay-off from the first time we saw those dragons grow up and yearning for them to unleash hell with Daenerys triumphantly riding on top.

Interestingly Drogon was the only dragon present in the battle. This speaks to a few theories. It’s possible Daenerys simply didn’t want to commit to all three dragons in a single fight. Maybe they need rest like starting pitchers.

I’m leaning towards that Daenerys isn’t confident using rider-less dragons in battle. Though she did use them to burn the slavers’ ships last season, here she had her own forces on the ground and needed to be more precise and tactical with that deadly dragon fire.

We were introduced to Chekov’s Ballista a few episodes ago courtesy of Qyburn, and now we get to see the deadly machine in action. In a tense action-sequence Bronn races through the burning, dying camp fighting off Dothraki and dodging dragon fire. He makes it to a caravan and unveils the impressive machine.

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Bronn had apparently already read the instruction manual and sets to work loading, cranking, and tracking the dragon. Trying to shoot flying things from the ground can be tricky – it’s why we invented flak cannons – but Daenerys is brazen and flies straight toward it after Bronn misses his first shot.

In a heart-leaping-in-throat moment Bronn fires the ballista, hitting Drogon. The dragon gives out a blood-curdling scream and begins to plummet to the ground, while Tyrion can only look on in horror from his vantage point.

Drogon rights himself before crashing to the ground, revealing that the shot only struck him in the shoulder, though it does ground him. Dany leaps off and tries to remove the giant bolt.

Jaime has managed to survive the onslaught thanks to Dickon’s help (who has also miraculously survived), and sees an opportunity he can’t pass up – the Mother of Dragons on the ground, seemingly vulnerable. He picks up a spear and charges, and Tyrion mutters, “You fucking idiot.”

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Tyrion has the right of it. Dany may be close by on the ground but she still has a giant, attentive dragon right next to her. In a glorious shot Jaime runs right into the mouth Drogon, who unleashes a fireball. Bronn (at least I think it was Bronn) tackles Jaime, saving him from the blast (sorry horses) and tumbling them into the oddly deep nearby river.

Team Targaryen has won a major victory, crippling Cersei’s armies and most likely capturing Jaime. But the Night King approacheth, and next week’s episode title (“Eastwatch”) should give us a check-in with the army of the dead.

 

Winners

Daenerys and Drogon:  At last! We’ve seen Daenerys and Drogon in action before, but nothing along this scale. Daenerys proves herself as much a capable battlefield hero as a ruler and conqueror.

Bronn: Bronn has been one of those odd side characters that seems to hang on by the barest of pretenses (see Poderick), mostly as a comedic relief and foil to Jaime. He had his biggest moment of the entire series this week, actually wounding a dragon and saving Jaime’s life, though Bronn’s fate in the end is unknown.

Arya: The last living Stark makes it back to Winterfell! Arya’s return is suitably the least dramatic, as fits her personality. But her dual with Brienne made the trip North worth pausing her kill-list.

Losers

Bran: His dealings with Baelish felt more weird than smug, and he was a complete asshole to Meera, who had loyally stood by his side and brought him all the way back to Winterfell. Either get your shit together or start doing productive things as the Three-Eyed Raven.

Jaime: Never try to solo a dragon, Jaime.

The Dagger: It’ll surely become relevant soon but otherwise this was a deep callback for the show to make, having to show scenes from the first season to remind everyone why we should care.


Roll20 Review: Cat and Mouse

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Welcome to another Roll20 Review, my written and video series in which I review the paid modules available for sale at Roll20. 

Cat and Mouse is the latest conversion and paid module release by tabletop role-playing website Roll20.net. The 1st-level adventure was written and designed by Richard Petit at Kobold Press in 2015 as an introductory adventure to the Southlands, an Egyptian-like part of Kobold Press’ RPG fantasy world, Midgard.

Cat and Mouse, as with most of Kobold Press’ content in the last few years, is built with the Dungeons & Dragons Fifth Edition ruleset courtesy of the Open Gaming License.

The adventure takes place in the exotic city of Per-Bastet, home to catfolk, ratfolk, and gnolls. The player characters get swept up in a classic McGuffin hunt with competing factions, leading to a multiple choice ending.

The following content is included in the $9.99 module:

  • cat and mouseThe Cat and Mouse adventure, divided into three parts
  • 5 Battle Maps (5-ft grid) with Dynamic Lighting for Subscribers, plus 1 overland map of Per-Bastet
  • 7 Unique NPCs with custom pictures
  • 15 common NPCs
  • 5 pre-generated player character sheets
  • 14 NPC handout pictures
  • 1 unique magic item
  • A fully search able database courtesy of the Standard Rules Document for 5th Edition

Cat and Mouse is a relatively short, simple adventure designed for 4-6 players at level 1. The Roll20 module divides the adventure into three main parts, as well as an introduction to help familiarize the DM with the Southlands, Per-Bastet, and the overall adventure synopsis.

The background and lore is bare minimum, and the module points to the Southlands campaign book for more information. But unless your players go completely off the rails the information on the Perfume District and various notable NPCs should be sufficient.

cat and mousePart One introduces the PCs to the two major players and quest-givers, the shifty catfolk Mistress Henna and gluttonous gnoll Hakaan-al-Khareen.

All the named NPCs are given custom portraits and tokens, and match up well with their written descriptions.

The one battle map included in Part One could be entirely optional depending on how much snooping your PCs want to do when meeting with Hakaan. By showing them the grid map I imagine they’ll definitely want to explore a bit, which I would suggest.

Part Two is the hunt for the wererat Raheed and the item your patrons are seeking – the Grimalkin Eye. Your PCs take to the streets through various social checks to hunt him and the Eye down.

An alleyway handout picture is provided from the original adventure, but otherwise there aren’t any battle maps for this part. The overland map of Pet-Bastet should work fine as none of them should necessarily end in combat, but you may need to prep a battle map just in case.

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One battle encounter and map is provided toward the end of the hunt. It uses a nifty creature from Kobold Press’ Tome of Beasts – the Bastet Temple Cat (CR3!). The PCs have to solve the situation of a crazed cat which is also highly revered, with lots of bystanders nearby. All the tokens on the battle map drive home the unfolding tension of this scene.

The other two battle maps in Part Two are for Festering Heth’s, where the target Raheed as been captured, and Raheed’s Squat.

From reading through the adventure Raheed’s Squat is only used if Heth manages to convince the PCs that Raheed isn’t there, and gives them directions to Raheed’s lair instead. Note that this path makes the adventure much longer and more difficult.

These are very tight, small maps which could be very tricky to navigate for bigger parties. This could be part of the challenge but DM’s should note that particularly squishy or ranged-oriented 1st level characters will find themselves at a major disadvantage in most encounters.

Part Three begins once the PCs have dealt with Raheed and secured the Eye. A single final encounter pits them in a plaza with their two patrons, where they must choose to help one (or none) and a possible battle breaks out – with caged lions nearby acting like an environmental hazard!

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The custom NPC pictures are a big selling point for this adventure, and most matching handouts. Some of the NPC sheets don’t have tokens on their sheet, however, meaning you can’t drag them onto the map like you can the tokens. You can copy/paste them from elsewhere in the adventure if you need them but I don’t foresee having to add many additional tokens to this adventure.

The battle maps are very simplistic and barely any dynamic lighting is used or needed. I wish there would have been a bit more blockage in case you end up battling outside Festering Heth’s for example.

One interesting perk the module provides are pre-made player character sheets. Five are provided: a kobold Rogue, a dwarf cleric, an elfmarked wizard, a human paladin, and a human fighter. Some of them, like the rogue and wizard are given nice little backstories. Some also come with magic items already at level 1, which feels wildly unbalanced (though at least the wizard’s brooch is built into her backstory in a neat way).

The Journal is well-organized and easy to navigate, and the story plays out like a classic Shadowrun mission, putting the PCs in the middle of a shady deal. There are plenty of chances for fun role-playing and social situations. On the flip side if your gaming group is more into hack and slash, Cat and Mouse may not be nearly as satisfying depending on how you adjust it.

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The Pros:

  • Unique custom portraits and tokens for all named NPCs
  • Optional pre-made player character sheets
  • Perfectly converted 5-ft grid maps with tokens and GM layer

The Cons:

  • No additional visual aids or maps for several scenes in the Perfume District
  • Not every NPC sheet has a draggable token or handout

The Errors:

  • None, though I would have preferred additional dynamic lighting on some maps.

The Verdict: As a simple 1st level adventure Cat and Mouse provides a fun introduction to an exotic urban setting. It’s especially well suited to groups that would rather role-play and talk their way out of confrontations.

A review copy of the module was provided.


This week’s D&D session bumped up to tonight

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The Summer of Reschedule continues! Our wonderful DM will be out of state for a wedding this weekend, then my wife will be out of state on a business trip.

So, we’re bumping up Friday’s Storm King’s Thunder D&D session to tonight. Same time, same channel as always. I’ll try and get the recap and video posted tomorrow.

We’ll resume our Friday D&D sessions next week, until the next reschedule at least!

(and for anyone that follows my weekly Wednesday #RogueDVDNight movie live tweets, I’ll be doing it tomorrow).


D&D 5E “Storm King’s Thunder” Session 16 Recap

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Streamed, recorded and uploaded every week. Subscribe for our weekly adventures. Join us live on Fridays at 7pm Pacific/10pm Eastern!

NOTE: Makeup this was a makeup Wednesday session, with no session on Friday!

Previously on “Storm King’s Thunder”

Halfred’s bow sang out, and the Zhentarim thug gave a startled gasp as an arrow sunk into his shoulder. He glanced around wildly, perhaps noticing for the first time he was the last one in his group alive.

My mind probed into his, grasping and shaping his fear like a piece of clay. “Throw your weapons down if you don’t want to be cut down like your friends,” I intoned menacingly. “The information you provide could spare your life.”

The young man blanched, eyes wide. He spared a fearful glance toward the cave entrance, then met my gaze. He threw down his weapons.

“Don’t kill me, don’t kill me! Just let me go,” he whimpered.

“Smart man.”

We spent a bit of time shopping in Mirabar, one of the largest cities we’ve seen in this adventure. There were some solid magic items to be had, namely some Mithral Armor (half plate) and a Sentinel Shield.

Since I plan on multi-classing into paladin next level, I was all over that armor. I sold as much loot as I could, and still had to borrow a few coins from Bryseis, who just won the damn lottery from selling the pearls from Drufi’s helmet.

It took literally all my money but I secured much better medium armor than I thought I’d be able to acquire any time soon. I can only glance at it wistfully for now, but next level, oh boy!

T.I.M. bought the shield to make him even more super observant, and we took off on our long road trip once again, this time traveling south down the Long Road.

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We made it straight to Xantharl’s Keep without any encounters. The converted old fortress was not the Zhentarim lair I was expecting, though maybe a bit less welcoming than most places.

At the inn we met Millie, the Harper agent that Thwip had told us about. We showed her the Clockwork Dragonling he had given us, and she agreed to give us some information about local Zhentarim activity when she went on break.

Meanwhile we’d spotted a group of obvious Zhent agents there at the inn. Korinn suggested pulling the Invisibility trick again, and with a 3rd level spell slot she can make two people invisible. Bryseis signed up to join her, and the two women disappeared into the bathroom, reemerging unseen to follow the men.

While I gathered basic information and asked questions from Millie, Korinn and Bryseis got shit done by following the men all the way to their hideout, a cave entrance about 15 minutes outside of town. They marked the trees so they could lead us back there.

After Millie I used my at-will Disguise Self invocation to appear as a local and strike up a conversation with the town guard. I learned a bit more information, including the arrival of an orc spellcaster and a “posh gentleman” who were keen on dealing with the giant threat. I also learned that Captain Zellan himself lead this particular outpost.

We regrouped in the inn. With the intel and location confirmed, we agreed on a plan to stakeout the cave entrance during the day. We waited for the usual round of Zhentarim to get their day-long leave in town.

We deliberated on whether to jump the foursome outside the cave and press for information, or let them go to town and simply go in, knowing the lair was a bit lighter.

The more aggressive option won out, and with a hefty surprise attack we beat the crap out of those thugs with a hail fire of elemental spells and arrows, making sure to leave the last one alive for interrogation.

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He was more than willing to give us everything we needed, including a detailed description of the layout, traps, and foes inside. True to our word we let him go…after lots of hilarious slap-filled intimidation checks by Bryseis.

Knowing a pair of orogs (beefier orcs) guarded the entrance, I used Disguise Self to change into the man we’d just questioned and lured them outside.

We defeated them just as quickly, though one got in a nasty critical hit taking out more than half of T.I.M.’s HP. T.I.M. getting heavily wounded in every encounter is par for the course.

With a sizable portion of the dungeon already defeated and the general layout explained, we’re more than prepared for our first real dungeon crawl since session six. But it will have to wait until next week!

Streamed, recorded and uploaded every week. Subscribe for our weekly adventures. Join us live on Fridays at 7pm Pacific/10pm Eastern!


Game of Thrones Season 7 Episode 5 “Eastwatch” Recap

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We had a far quieter episode this week on Game of Thrones with no dragons burning armies. Well, maybe a little dragon-burning. Despite no real action scenes “Eastwatch” managed to be one of the fastest-paced episodes of the entire series as pieces rapidly moved around, leaders concocted plans, and Jon formed a superhero mash-up team of beyond-the-wall badasses.

At the end of last week I assumed that Jaime and Bronn would become Daenerys’ prisoners. Apparently Bronn’s heroic move not only saved Jaime’s life, but also eluded them from capture. I was incredulous and kept thinking at any moment one of Dany’s forces will simply notice them. How big is that river anyway?

Jaime and Bronn already make it back to King’s Landing to report the loss to Cersei. She actually takes everything in stride, remarking that they can use the gold to hire a mercenary army. He tells her what he learned from Olenna about Joffery’s true murderer, which she also seemingly takes in stride. She’s more than willing to go down fighting, but Jaime is not so sure.

A calm Cersei should worry everyone. A calm Daenerys fucking kills people.

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In a firm but brutal display, Daenerys calls for all the captured soldiers from last week’s battle to bend the knee or die. Most comply after a not-so-stirring speech from the Mother of Dragons – it’s hard to call for peace and prosperity when you just burned their friends alive.

Randyll Tarly, whom I’ve been misspelling this whole time, is too proud to kneel. He’s a complete asshole with zero sympathies, but his son has proven to be the opposite.

It’s an interesting twist when son Dickon refuses as well, joining his father as Dany stands them up before Drogon. The Mother of Dragons doesn’t hang people.

Tyrion is horrified at this display of power. “Eastwatch” touches upon the moral gray area that rests in being a leader. He and Varys have a discussion that reminds us of the cruelty of the Mad King that prompted the civil war before the series started. Later Arya and Sansa have a discussion about ruling, as do Jon and Dany, both admitting to doing what’s necessary – and what’s necessary often isn’t very nice.

The Jon and Dany exchange also teases a scene we all saw coming – the dragons responding positively to Jon Snow. Jon lovingly pets Drogon and Dany becomes even more enamored, though whether it’s love or respect is difficult to say.

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We know that Jon has been confirmed a Targaryen, thanks to Bran’s time-travel abilities. But this episode goes a step further with a seemingly innocuous scene between Samwell and Gilly.

Sam (who’s father and brother were just killed by Dany) remains frustrated with the Maesters, and even more frustrated with his inability to find real information on the Night King. Maybe he’s looking at the wrong information, as Gilly manages to drop a brief but possibly explosive info bomb before Sam waves her away – that Prince Rhaeger Targaryen’s initial marriage to Ellia Martell of Dorne was annulled.

We have to dig a bit into Game of Thrones‘ history to know why this is important. We know that long-time theory R+L=J was confirmed last season, with the L being Lyanna Stark, Ned’s sister. It’s said that Rhaeger abducted her, leading to Robert and Ned to start the civil war against the Targaryens, though it’s possible (and increasingly likely) that the two simply ran away together.

Now, if they actually got married that means that their child, Jon Targaryen, is not a bastard but a true-born son and heir to the Iron Throne. Jon would have just as much claim as Daenerys. I think he may actually have a stronger claim being the son of the prince (whereas Dany is Rhaegar’s younger sister). I’m not up on my succession rules.

I think it likely that we’ll never know the whole truth, and this was just a tease for the audience to help confirm yet another theory. Just having Targaryen blood would make Jon respected by the dragons (as we saw) – how the hell would they care if his parents were married?

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It’s a fun reveal made even more enjoyable given the way neither character realized what they were looking at. Sam’s frustration reaches its peak during an epic rant, and he and Gilly pack up their things and leave. Poor Sam. I enjoyed his surprisingly compelling antics at Oldtown and hopefully now he can get back to the action.

The bulk of the action surrounds Team Targaryen’s new plan. Jon receives a raven from Bran. Oh hey, Bran and Arya are alive. So much for an emotional reunion. The dead are coming – which I thought we already knew. They decide on a plan: convince Cersei (and everyone else) that the undead army is real. To do that they’ll need to capture one “alive” and bring it to her.

Now who the hell thinks Cersei gives two shits about an army of the dead? Every character in that room is being extremely naive to think she would rally around this common cause, Tyrion especially.

Regardless they decide that going north of the wall, running into the giant army of the dead, capturing an undead zombie, and bringing it back to the very hostile territory of King’s Landing is their best plan for generating an armistice so everyone can fight the dead.

Ser Jorah reunites with Daenerys just in time to volunteer, but Jon insists it has to be him. Jon may be an admirable leader but his insistence on being the first one at the head of every plan and battle usually makes for a short-lived career.

Tyrion knows that actually trying to talk with Cersei isn’t going to work. Instead, they worth through Jaime. Davos and Tyrion travel to King’s Landing to set up a meeting through Bronn, and the Lannister brothers are briefly reuinted.

This was a fantastic scene that I wish had lasted much longer. Tyrion balking at Jaime for being mad at him for killing their father was heartbreaking. Peter Dinklage got to flex his superior acting muscles more than he’s had to all season.

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But alas we’re moving at lighting speed. Jaime agrees to a proposed armistice. Cersei again takes it in stride, putting the bulk of this “betrayal” on Bronn. She decides that a meeting puts her in the best position to deal with Daenerys. If Jaime was starting to get cold feet they’re immediately snuffed by Cersei’s admission of a pregnancy – and he’s the father.

Now, is she really pregnant or just saying that to keep Jaime on board for a bit longer? I would not at all put it past Cersei. One interesting note: Cersei’s fateful childhood prophecy has so far rang true (all her kids have died), but the prophecy also said she’d only have three. Her time will be coming to an end, and I still think it’ll be at the end of Jaime’s sword.

Meanwhile Davos surprises everyone by going to the blacksmith and finding Gendry, last bastard son of Robert Baratheon. Gendry! We last saw the poor bastard rowing away from Dragonstone after Davos freed him from Melisandre, in season three. Davos delightfully jokes that he expected to find him still rowing, a snarky comment frequently made by Game of Thrones fans.

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A special shout-out to Ser Davos Seaworth needs to be made. I make notes to myself to help write these recaps, and a solid 25% of them this week were just quotes of everything Davos said. Nothing fucks you harder than time.

Gendry grabs a warhammer – Robert’s signature weapon, and immediately signs up to join Davos, and later Jon. The group runs into a brief encounter when leaving King’s Landing, and once again Davos gets to flex his wit in a rare humorous scene involving fermented crab Viagra.

In true Game of Thrones fashion, it ends in violence.

Jon leaves Dragonstone to embark on their crazy mission, taking Jorah and Gendry. Dany could have forced him to stay but her opinions have definitely softened – not every man can pet a dragon and Jon ain’t bad to look at either.

In another egregious example of fast-travel, Jon and company make it all the way up to Eastwatch-by-the-sea, one of the few manned castles of the Night’s Watch. It’s currently manned by Tormund, who’s disappointed that Jon didn’t bring Brienne (me too).

The Brotherhood Without Banners is also there, rotting in a jail cell. Seems their vision in the flames didn’t go over well with the wildlings.

A tense but funny meeting occurs when these characters meet. Gendry has good reason to hate Thoros and Beric based on his experience with Melisandre, while Tormund is none too please at having a Mormont (Jorah) in the party.

As Jon eloquently says, they’re all on the same side because they’re still breathing. He tells them the plan and lets them out of jail. Snow’s Seven is officially born! It’ll be our first look beyond the wall since Bran fled during the epic Hold the Door sequence, and looks like the primary focus of next week’s adventure.

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Before we end this recap let’s predict the fate of Snow’s Seven:

game of thronesJon Snow – Come on, he’s fine. Besides, he already died once. At least one person will sacrifice themselves for him.

game of thronesGendry – It would be pretty lame to kill him off after we only just met him again after being MIA for years. He’s strong but the most untested of the lot. I could see him getting injured, and/or turning into a loyal sidekick for Jon.

game of thronesSer Jorah Mormont – Jorah only just now got back to fighting strength. Like Gendry it would be lame for him to die after all that. But he was given a plot coin by Tyrion and told to come back, so his death would be heart-breaking. He’s either going to live, or die saving Jon (and put in a final good word for Dany).

game of thronesTormund Giantsbane – Tormund has turned into a fun character, despite not having a whole lot to do this season. He’s been a loyal friend and ally to Jon, and is the most experienced member of the party for this mission. His death would be very emotional for both Jon and us. I think he’s a gonner.

game of thronesSandor Clegane – The sardonic Hound has gone through a rollercoaster of events since his appearance in the very first episode. It’s a very strange journey that’s lead him here. He’s probably the best fighter of any of them, but also the least reliable and loyal. His hatred of his brother still needs a conclusion with zombie-Mountain still by Cersei’s side, so he’s going to make it to King’s Landing.

game of thronesSer Beric Dondarrion – His flaming sword will come in very handy against the zombies, but otherwise Baric doesn’t have much going on, and we don’t really care one way or the other.

game of thronesThoros of Myr – As one of the least effective fighters the red priest may be able to call upon his god to smite the undead armies. Or more likely he’ll just die ignominiously.

And how’s this for a bold final prediction: One of these men will die and become the zombie warrior they’ll bring to King’s Landing, and in the final episode the Night King will cross (or destroy) the wall.

Winners

Jon Snow – It’s not every day you get to pet a dragon and assemble a superhero squad of ultimate badasses. We likely learned he’s a full-blooded Targaryen as well, but Jon doesn’t exactly have his eyes set on the Iron Throne.

Davos – Davos, like Bronn, is always a delightfully snarky presence in every scene. His dry wit and candor were on full display this episode, whether it was recruiting Gendry, bribing guards, or admitting he’s not much of a fighter. Davos has easily become one of my favorite characters in the entire series.

Gendry – When we first saw him I thought this was going to be a quick one-off scene to remind us that he was there (like Arya and Nymeria). I was pleased that not only does Gendry join up with Davos, but then pledges himself to Jon based on the friendship of their fathers (ironically Robert Baratheon killed Jon’s actual father Rhaegar Targaryen). PROTECT GENDRY!

Losers

The Spies of Winterfell – Despite holding a large number of prominent cast members Winterfell continues to be boring. Now it appears that we’re manufacturing drama for the sake of drama. According to Polygon the note that Arya finds (which Baelish planted) is the one Sansa wrote under duress years ago, urging Robb to bend the knee to Joffery. This could create further division between Arya and Sansa, or make Arya finally get rid of Baelish. Either way it’s hard to care compared to what’s going on everywhere else.

Ghost – Um, has anyone seen Jon’s direwolf? He didn’t go to Dragonstone, he didn’t accompany Snow’s Seven. Have we seen him all season? Is Ghost the new Gendry?



Sundered Review [Pixelkin]

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Read the full review at Pixelkin

Friedrich Nietzsche famously said “That which does not kill us makes us stronger.” In Sundered that which kills you also makes you stronger.

Sundered is a challenging, beautifully animated roguelike action-platformer from indie studio Thunder Lotus Games. With a carefully crafted difficulty ramp, Sundered excels in a genre that often teeters on the brink of frustration and repetition.

Read the full review at Pixelkin


D&D 5E “Storm King’s Thunder” Session 17 Recap

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Streamed, recorded and uploaded every week. Subscribe for our weekly adventures. Join us live on Fridays at 7pm Pacific/10pm Eastern!

Previously on “Storm King’s Thunder”

I headed toward the flickering torchlight down the tunnel, motioning for the others to stay back. I rounded the corner and the cave opened up into the entrance to an old temple – just as the Zhent thug had described.

A pair of guards near the entrance were playing cards. I stumbled onto some loose rocks and the nearest one glanced up. I felt a rush of adrenaline before I remembered I was still disguised as the man we had interrogated outside the cave.

“Walter!” he called out. “What are you doing? I thought you were going into town with the others?”

I had to act fast. “Ah yeah,” I stammered, gradually calming myself. “I forgot something. Hey, those brutes – the guards, are acting really weird.”

“The orogs?” He replied. “What are they doing?”

“I don’t know but they’re starting to get violent. Get out here and help me with them!”

We went back and forth a few times. I briefly entertained trying to pry some more information out of him (Zellan was indeed here, somewhere) but didn’t want to press my luck.

Finally the guard relented. He and his buddy got up to investigate. I mentally called out to my friends that they were coming down the tunnel. I made sure to avoid making physical contact as they brushed past me.

The fighting erupted almost instantly. Bryseis conjured up several magic missiles, slamming into one guard, and Halfred unleashed a hail of arrows. The Zhent fell, and the other turned to run, shouting about the alarm. T.I.M. smashed him with the mace as he ran away, directly towards me.

I reached out with my mind, but the man’s eyes were wide with fear. The same man I’d just spoken with seconds ago. He was in full flight mode and barreled into me, even after I manifested my psychokinetic glaive and slashed at his legs. I held my ground, bracing against the cave and shoved him backwards.

He gave a sudden scream, and for a moment I questioned how hard I hit him. Then I heard a sick sizzling sound as his face began to melt. The melting flesh cascaded down his body, choking him before he could even scream.

As he dissolved into a messy puddle I glanced back to see Korinn retract her arm and nod solemnly at me. I took a moment to realize that a few weeks ago I would’ve been horrified at this brutal display. Now it was just business as usual.

We finally get to crawl a dungeon this week, huzzah!

We had spent a good chunk of last week preparing for the Zhentarim Outpost dungeon crawl. We gathered as much intel as we could and lured several forces outside of the dungeon, dispatching them quickly and quietly before ever stepping foot inside.

Within the caves we proceeded cautiously. Only two of us have darkvision, Kazin and Bryseis, which is a nasty handicap when you want to stealthly explore darkened tunnels.

I used Kazin’s at-will Disguise Self invocation to disguise as one of the Zhents we had defeated, which came in very handy throughout our dungeon visit.

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We steered clear of the right-side of the dungeon, which we had been warned contained ‘something’ dangerous that the squatting Zhentarim avoided.

I took point and headed toward the torches on the walls, reaching the underground temple where the Zhents made their base of operations.

Outside the temple I engaged the DM with some fun role-playing dialogue,  trying to act like the Zhent I was disguised as. My plan was to lure out more guards so we could ambush them.

It worked perfectly – at least on my end. Two of the the thugs stopped their card game and followed me down the caves, where the rest of our party waited.

Unfortunately they spotted my not-so-stealthy comrades, somewhat squandering our ambush. Still, we had them surrounded and out-numbered. When one of them tried to get past me to sound the alarm, I body-blocked him while Korinn melted him from behind.

Thanks to our previous interrogation of a Zhent thug, we knew the pit traps were at the entrance to the temple and avoided them easily. We made our way inside and found branching paths to the west, north, and east.

T.I.M. grew restless and kicked in the door to the west. Once again I used Disguise Self to assuage the sleepy thug that awoke, and still managed to find out that there were three of them sleeping in the barracks. We decided it was too delicious an opportunity to pass up.

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Bryseis cut their rope alarm just in case, and we stealthily made our way into their chambers.

My paltry +1 DEX was killing me this week, both with initiative rolls and on stealth checks, and I nearly screwed us all with a critical fail. Once again I used my disguise and superior social skills to talk my way out of danger.

Our party is not very stealthy, with only Bryseis making it far enough to attempt a coup-de-grace attack. She did just that, and it was spectacular!

She auto-crit with her signature Chaos Bolt against an unconscious foe, and our DM had her roll for Wild Magic Surge. She got the 5th level Magic Missile, and slammed them all into the poor sleeping bastard, annihilating the veteran instantly with nearly 60 total damage.

We charged at the other two while they were still waking up, downing them swiftly despite the uncomfortably cramped hallway limiting our movement.

From there it was either explore east or open the big double doors to the north. I anticipated our big boss fight with Zellan and the orc shaman in that room, so we all got into position and I knocked on the door.

The guard opened the room and received a face full of Korinn’s Chromatic Orb. The room opened into a dining room full of a handful of Zhents – sadly not the big bads we were expecting.

We unleashed hell but one of the thugs ran into a shadowy side room shouting something about ‘releasing the twins.’ The next round a pair of giant snakes slithered out, one grabbing Korinn and the other killing that poor Zhent who released them.

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In hindsight we should’ve tried to work this room as we did with others, with subterfuge and deception. We may have prevented the snakes from even entering the fight had we approached a bit more cautiously.

I convinced the nearby Zhentarim acolyte to surrender while we focused on the snakes. The first one went down, freeing Korinn, while T.I.M. lost a wrestling match with the second before we killed it.

The room is a dead-end but we do have a live prisoner we can question. More of the dungeon awaits us, including Zellan himself. We played this one really well so far and it’s been fun having an actual dungeon crawl for the first time since that mini-cave in Session 5. We’re coming for you, Zellan.

Streamed, recorded and uploaded every week. Subscribe for our weekly adventures. Join us live on Fridays at 7pm Pacific/10pm Eastern!


Tabletop Review: Starfinder Roleplaying Game

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A press copy of the Starfinder Core Rulebook was provided for the purposes of this review.

Over the years Paizo Publishing has carved a successful name among tabletop roleplaying fans, releasing dozens of Pathfinder rulebooks, supplements, full campaigns, and modules.

Starfinder represents Paizo’s first entirely new roleplaying system since Pathfinder’s release in 2009. In many ways it’s a science-fiction version of Pathfinder, expanding on those rules (which is itself largely based on D&D 3.5e) while adding a few unique twists of its own.

Starfinder draws upon the best sci-fi archetypes, stories, and concepts from across media to create a full-fledged, detailed universe rife for adventure.

starfinderThe Starfinder Core Rulebook holds over 500 pages of everything you need to create a character and play the game, as well as helpful tips, lore, and rules for running the game as a Game Master. Like Pathfinder all the information is contained in a single book, whereas Dungeons & Dragons Fifth Edition splits it between a Player’s and Dungeon Master’s Handbook.

Only needing to purchase a single book is a nice perk, though it comes with the cost of giving less in-depth information for potential Game Masters, which I’ll get into later.

The book is divided into 13 chapters. Most of the sections should be immediately recognizable to anyone who has experience with Pathfinder and/or Dungeons & Dragons.

A brief overview in Chapter One introduces the concept of a role-playing game, concluding with a nice little two-page gameplay example. These little samples are used several times throughout the book as dorky but helpful examples of actual play sessions involving traps and combat, starship battles, and vehicle chases.

Chapter Two introduces character creation, giving a step-by-step process for designing a Starfinder adventurer. The major categories like races, classes, and skills are detailed in subsequent chapters.

Coming from Pathfinder or Dungeons & Dragons, the biggest new concepts to Starfinder player characters are Stamina, Resolve Points, and Themes.

Stamina is basically a secondary health bar on top of Hit Points. Every character has both Stamina Points and Hit Points. Stamina represents more superficial damage and general exhaustion, while Hit Points are your actual nasty wounds or mental anguish. I picture Stamina damage when superheroes get into scrapes, whereas Hit Point damage is John McClane at the end of every Die Hard film.

Stamina is more easily regenerated than Hit Points, with the latter almost always requiring some sort of outside healing like spells or potions. Stamina can be regenerated by spending 10 minutes and one Resolve Point – functionally equivalent to a Short Rest in D&D 5E.

The system reminds me of Pillars of Eternity‘s excellent Health and Endurance mechanics. It’s not quite as smooth or game-y as Pillar’s- Stamina doesn’t automatically regenerate at the end of a fight. But it does look like a solid compromise between letting heroes self-heal while making sure health has significant meaning over the long-term.

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Resolve Points act similar to Hit Dice in D&D but with way more uses than just healing. With healing it’s much simpler – simply spend a Resolve Point to fully heal your Stamina. Resolve is also a resource that can be spent to activate certain class abilities. For example, the Mechanic can spend one Resolve Point to create a Scout drone, provided they’ve acquired the level eight Scoutbot perk.

Resolve Points can also be used to stabilize yourself if you’re dying, as well as even heal to get back into the fight. You lose Resolve Points every round you’re down, however – and if you lose them all you’re toast.

Themes are similar to the Backgrounds of D&D Fifth Edition, but with more expanded functionality. A total of nine themes are available, including Bounty Hunter, Mercenary, Scholar, and Ace Pilot, as well as a tenth Themeless build that provides some generic bonuses.

Themes provide a small stat boost as well as several level-dependent perks. Many of them are very niche and GM-dependent – particularly the Bounty Hunter’s ability to track specific targets. But Themes feel much better integrated into the rules system than Backgrounds, and I love that you continue to gain very thematic abilities and skills as your grow.

Both Themes and Resolve Points are great examples of Starfinder taking established concepts (Backgrounds and Hit Dice) and adding more functionality and flavor.

starfinderCompared to similar game systems, Starfinder seems a little light on races and classes. There are seven races and seven classes to mix and match, on top of the ten themes.

Most of the classes have obvious analogues to familiar fantasy archetypes. There are only two spell-casters. Mystics are your priest or cleric wisdom-based casters. Technomancers are basically wizards. Operatives are straight-up rogues; they even have an increasingly damaging sneak attack called ‘trick attack.’ Soldiers are your standard heavy fighters.

From there it gets a bit more interesting. Solarians are basically Jedi – able to craft a powerful weapon or armor out of the stars. They resemble monks with a slightly complex system of balancing gravity and solar powers.

The Mechanic is probably my favorite class. It’s ripped straight out of Shadowrun as both a Decker and Rigger. They’re proficient with hacking into computers and piloting vehicles as well as creating their own drones. You can choose between having a permanent drone pet (hover, combat, or stealth) or an Exocortex, which sounds exactly like the Brainpal from the Old Man’s War series.

starfinderThe Envoy is for players that want to talk their way out of problems. I appreciate a good social-focused class and Envoy has a lot of neat tricks going for it. It’s basically the D&D 4E Warlord, able to command allies and enemies during battle. They’re also your Bard-like skill monkey.

I like that every class has its own list of special feat-like abilities and perks to choose from as they level up, not unlike D&D’s Warlock invocations. It’s a bit of a double-edged sword, as it also means that every character needs to be carefully planned, and there isn’t really an easy class to play.

The races provide a nice range of hulking brutes and diminutive furry folk, though most feel more fantastical than alien. The Vesk are giant warrior lizards while the Ysoki are scavenging ratfolk. Humans are there for you boring folks as well as self-aware humanoid androids. The psychic Lashunta are the stand-in for elves, and come in two slightly different varieties.

The last two are the most interesting – the Kasatha and Shirren. The Kasatha are a four-armed race who arrived in the Pact Worlds on a giant world ship. They’re steeped in a rich culture and always cover their mouths. Four arms gives you a nifty advantage in combat options – there’s even a special feat that lets you auto-fire with four guns at once!

starfinderThe Shirren are insectoid aliens with a neat backstory. They’ve broken away from the Zerg-like Swarm and become highly individualistic and peaceful.

Each race gets a detailed break down of their traits and stats as well as their society, alignments, naming schemes, relations to other races, and why they become adventurers. I particularly like the sidebars that include reasons on why you’d want to play as that race – and how others would treat you.

Skills and feats are a major part of Starfinder as they were in Pathfinder, but thankfully both have been scaled down and streamlined. There are only 20 skills in Starfinder, including Acrobatics, Computers, Engineering, Perception, and Piloting.

The skill section does a great job giving detailed descriptions and rules of all the various uses of each skill. For example, Engineering lets you arm explosives, assess stability of structures, craft items, disable devices, identify constructs and technology, and repair items.

Feats are probably the single most recognizable components from Pathfinder outside of the actual attributes. Feats can improve saving throws, grant weapons specialization, add additional combat moves, and more. Most require prerequisites, so some planning will be required at character creation.

The equipment chapter might be the most impressive part of the entire book. It’s here that Starfinder really lets loose with some new concepts, creating a loot system that’s more action RPG (like Borderlands or Fallout) than D&D.

With a sci-fi universe of magic and tech you can go nuts with the weapon designs, and Starfinder just does that. We’ve got laser pistols, plasma rifles, chainsaw swords, cryo grenades, knives, sharp sticks, etc. Pages and pages of weapons are listed to suit your every desire.

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Every piece of equipment has an item level associated with. It’s an incredibly easy-to-use system that gauges how powerful a piece of equipment is relative to the players – unlike D&D’s use of common, uncommon, rare, etc. I know that a Comet Hammer is a level 10 weapon, while a Level 1 player could easily find an Azimuth Laser Pistol.

There’s a lot of helpful notes for GM’s when it comes to equipment. NPCs should only carry about a week’s worth of credits on their credstick. Players should be able to buy their level + 1 items at most places, with + 2 at major settlements.

Most weapons also have critical effects, making for fun additional cool factors when players roll a crit, such as knocking down opponents or causing them to suffer ongoing bleeding damage.

In addition to the incredible variety already listed, weapons can be augmented with Weapon Fusions, adding additional effects and abilities to a favored sidearm. Likewise armor has upgrade slots where new perks and functions can be installed.

Starfinder goes full Shadowrun when it comes to cybernetic enhancements. Chop those limbs up and get you some chrome!

Cybernetics are expensive but can offer some really cool new features, like Robocop-style hidden holsters and most of the upgrades from a Deus Ex game. Install a Dragon Gland in your throat and breath fire!

Your players may not be finding ancient magical weapons nearly as much as in a fantasy game, but there are a lot more fun things for them to spend their hard-earned (or completely ill-gotten) money on.

Starships are given their own chapter for good reason. Not only do they have entire stat blocks, like a mix between an NPC and an item, but they’re a critical part of the adventuring party.

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Starfinder is designed around giving every party a communal starship to travel in. It provides transportation to different worlds and adventures, and can be upgraded to include several different rooms and amenities, like cargo holds, science labs, and even shuttle and hangar bays for smaller ships.

Combat with starships takes place on a unique hex grid where actual length and distance is completely abstracted. Combat is designed to emulate Star Trek with each player taking on a different role. Five roles are available: Captain, Engineer, Gunner, Pilot, and Science Officer.

The nice thing about this system is it lets any kind of player character feel useful in a space battle. A charismatic diplomat can play the captain role, boosting their teammates and disrupting the opponent. A more intellectual character can operate the targeting scanners and avoid hazards as the science officer. Still, anyone who’s not steering and shooting is going to feel more supportive rather than active.

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Rules for playing the game are outlined in chapter eight and should be pretty familiar for anyone who’s played a d20 system. The biggest difference is that AC has been split between Kinetic Armor Class and Energy Armor Class, making it useful to carry different kinds of weapons to exploit any weaknesses.

Magic is also easily recognizable from D&D/Pathfinder, with many of the exact same spells and spell schools. With only two spell-casting classes and six levels of spells magic is a lot less complicated and intimidating. You’ll still be able to heal, mind control, raise dead, and force choke; they mostly trimmed the fat from more situational and role-playing heavy spells.

Nearly 400 pages are devoted to character creation and playing the game, but what about actually running the game for the poor Game Master?

Unfortunately we’re left with only about 100 pages of information. Paizo does squeeze helpful information on environmental hazards, gods and goddesss, factions, and story ideas. There’s lots of useful lore and history surrounding the Starfinder universe, mostly broken down into different planets.

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There’s a quantity over quality approach with each area, providing dozens of planets and locations with a few paragraphs to describe their unique qualities and possible adventure hooks.

There’s Absalom Station, which is basically the Citadel from Mass Effect. Verces, the tidally locked planet with permanent day and night sides, and Akaton, a dying industrial world perfect for your Mad Max-inspired adventures. And those are just among the official Pact Worlds.

The vastness of outer space contains an infinite array of planets to make up, or explore the listed examples. Arquanad the sentient planet that fucks with your mind. Embroi, a secret outpost to the dimension of Hell. Preluria, a gas giant that’s home to psychic gas oozes.

These planets and locations are neat, but they provide the barest level of background information. Many GMs will need to purchase supplemental material to really get a handle on the Starfinder worlds and factions. Those that are adept at crafting their own homebrew worlds (or universe in this case) may be more satisfied at the nuggets that are given.

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The Core Rulebook ends with a chapter on converting PCs and NPCs from Pathfinder over to Starfinder. This is particularly useful for monsters, as the Rulebook doesn’t come with any NPC statblocks itself.

The rules are simple and straightforward, adding the new Starfinder quirks like split AC and Stamina. They also allow for the use of Pathfinder races, which nearly doubles the number of playable races, including full stats for elves, dwarves, and halflings.

From a player’s view the Starfinder Core Rulebook provides everything I need to get excited about the game, learn how to play, and create a successful adventurer. From a GM’s perspective it’s a little lacking. You’ll have a big leg up if you’re experienced with Pathfinder and/or D&D, but you’ll need to supplement with additional GM books and Adventure Path modules if you don’t want to fill in a lot of blanks yourself.

 

Pros:

  • Intuitive rule system that smartly improves several aspects of Pathfinder
  • Wonderful artwork that evokes the perfect combination of Shadowrun and a swords-and-spells RPG.
  • Equipment is varied and expansive with many fun options and choices, including armor upgrade slots, weapon fusions, cybernetics, and vehicles.
  • Starships are a big part of the game and the role system is a neat way to involve every player no matter their specialty.
  • Skills, feats, and spells have been condensed and trimmed down to much more manageable levels.
  • Easy to use rules for converting player races and NPCs from Pathfinder

Cons:

  • The Game Master sections are limited; locations offer more quantity over quality when it comes to information.
  • Very limited artwork and pictures of equipment.
  • Some classes feel a bit too analogous to standard fantasy RPG classes.
  • Complete lack of any NPC statblocks

The Verdict: Starfinder is a well-polished space opera RPG that successfully builds upon Pathfinder and draws elements from our favorite sci-fi games, movies, and books.

 

A press copy of the Starfinder Core Rulebook was provided for the purposes of this review.


Game of Thrones Season 7 Episode 6 “Beyond the Wall” Recap

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Last week left us with the promise of a Squad of Ultimate Badasses adventuring within the zombie-infested lands north of The Wall. Our squad quickly ran into trouble in “Beyond the Wall,” prompting one of the most exciting yet weirdest, plot-hole-ridden episodes this season.

We had only three POV’s this week, with much of the focus on Snow’s Seven (plus redshirts). Wide, zoomed-out shots of men marching in the mountains evoked some fond memories of Lord of the Rings.

We were treated to more fun dialogue between these fun combinations of characters, such as Jon and Jorah discussing Jon’s sword Longclaw, which was given to him by Jorah’s father.

Tormund was this week’s Davos – the jolly, witty character that made every scene he was in a delight. I was seriously worried Tormund would bite the big one given how many great lines he delivered (his unfamiliarity with the word ‘dick,’ his adorable infatuation with Brienne, etc).

The episode toyed with us further by later putting Tormund in mortal danger. NOT MY BIG BEAUTIFUL MAN HE WAS KISSED BY FIRE AND HE IS DESTINED TO MAKE GIANT BABIES WITH BRIENNE!

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But first our heroes had a mission: secure an undead soldier to bring back to the meeting with Cersei.

Things quickly go South when the DM rolls for a random encounter with a damn zombie bear in a snowstorm. Roll for initiative!

We’ve seen skeletal horses before but this thing was vicious, killing several redshirts and mortally wounding Thoros – though he’d survive for another day presumably due to his high alcohol content.

The bear was a reminder and a warning that it’s not just humans who can become zombies.

Our group launches a successful ambush on a small party of undead lead by a solitary White Walker. Everyone jumps into battle with Jon taking on the Walker. When he slays it with Longclaw all the other zombies disintegrate save one (how convenient!).

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We learned an important piece of information here, which are characters actually take time to discuss and point out: if you slay a White Walker, it destroys all the undead they’ve created. That’s a huge tactical advantage to defeating the Night King and his armies, provided you can reach them.

Unfortunately that last one lets out a scream before they can muffle it, summoning every zombie in the tri-state area. Our team hauls ass back to The Wall, sending Gendry on ahead to get word to Daenerys – who is currently half a continent away.

Our group is surrounded almost instantly on a patch of ice. The zombie army stops approaching given their icy plunge when too many of them stand on the ice. They just kind of wait it out. With no food, water, or fire time is on the side of the dead.

Gendry does make it back to the wall and becomes the unsung hero of this episode. He warns the Night’s Watch and they send out a raven.

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Now Season 7 has played extremely loose with time distortion and distance and “Beyond the Wall” continues that ridiculousness. The raven instantly makes it to Daenerys, who’s been having a pointed, tense conversation with Tyrion.

Tyrion’s trying to give her advice but Daenerys is frustrated. She has the most technologically advanced army but doesn’t want to just conquer Westeros with fire and fury – she wants to win the hearts and minds of the people. She wants to be the good guy, the Breaker of Chains, as she was in Essos. But that’s complicated when you’re the foreign invader and have no problem burning lords alive right in front of their army.

Tyrion’s concerns are entirely justified, particularly Daenery’s somewhat reckless attitude for putting herself in the front of danger despite being an important leader – a trait she shares with Jon. When the raven arrives that Jon’s in trouble she doesn’t hesitate at all, despite Tyrion’s worry.

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This time she takes all three dragons and flies straight north, knowing exactly where to go despite never having gone beyond the central region of Westeros.

In Winterfell the drama between Arya and Sansa continues to be god-awful. The show is making me dislike both of these characters. I actively groaned every time we returned to Winterfell. Turns out Arya returning home was the worst possible choice she could have made.

I hope that one or both of them figures out that Baelish is playing them against each other. Sansa at the very least should now how to read Baelish and play the game a bit better than Arya, and I would hope Arya wouldn’t be so immediately antagonistic toward her sister. There’s not liking someone and then there’s threatening them with a dagger in your hand. Step off, girl.

And Sansa sending Brienne away? Argh! Playing right into Baelish’s hands. I suppose this means Brienne will be there at the big meeting between Cersei and Dany next week.

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Daenerys arrives just as the dead figure out they can cross the ice after all in a stupid scene involving The Hound tossing rocks at them. It’s still thrilling and awesome to see the undead horde in action. Flaming swords, giant hammers, overwhelming odds – and then in the nick of time a trio of dragons appears!

Game of Thrones is dangerously teetering toward an action movie fan-service caricature of itself. We’ve watched a carefully crafted story built over many years. Now the showrunners are attempting to give us climax after climax with multiple payoffs and crazy-cool action sequences.

But it comes at the cost of having to hand-wave away little details like time, distance, plot armor, and the apparently Olympian javelin-throwing skills of the Night King.

And is it just me or do some of the White Walkers look like lame Star Trek villains?

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Drogon lands and our squad climbs aboard as the dead rage around them and more redshirts die. I really thought we’d lose another of our party members at this point – maybe Jorah would sacrifice himself to save Daenerys. The closest we got was Tormund getting overwhelmed and nearly dragged into the icy waters below.

The Night King barely batted an ice-crusted eyebrow at the dragons’ approach. He sauntered over to his collection of dragon-slaying ice spears, took aim, and hurled one at a flying dragon. Was that Rhaegal or Viserion? Either way it wasn’t Drogon, who was standing perfectly still and full of fleeing still-alive humans.

Losing a dragon is crushing, particularity after the tease we had just two episodes ago. If Dany didn’t grasp the severity of the Night King’s army before, she sure as hell does now.

I’m not sure if Emilia Clarke’s acting has gone super wonky this season as she tries to act the presentable Queen but I was super disappointed in her attitude after losing a dragon. They are her children, as she later tells Jon, yet she just looks mildly disappointed the entire time.

I had a strong feeling we’d be losing a dragon at some point this season. I had no idea it’d be at the hands of the Night King. But with two dragons left there’s no question that Jon will be riding the other one soon enough (I’m guessing Rhaegal, named after his true father, is the surviving dragon).

Everyone makes it out except Jon, who has to attempt to heroically sacrifice himself during every combat encounter. The Night King readies another ice spear and Daenerys takes off, leaving Jon as he falls into the freezing waters.

Of course Jon can’t die. Again, anyway. He claws his way back and the undead army prepares to charge him. Cue our second deus ex machina arrival of the evening: Benjen Stark!

We previously saw Ned’s brother helping out Bran and Meera last season. He’s in a weird half-zombie state and basically acting like the Blade (Marvel’s half-vampire) of the North by fighting the Night King’s armies.

His arrival, rescue, and subsequent death are another example of the weird fast-paced fan service that we’re rapidly burning through. To be fair there’s a lot of characters and stories we’re going to need closure on and not a lot of time to do it. So yeah, Benjen. Sure.

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Jon makes it back to the Wall and onto a boat. I love that the first words out of Jon’s mouth are “I’m sorry,” noting how much the dragon’s death must have meant to her.

It was this event that finally unites them: Jon agrees to bend the knee and call her Queen, and Dany pledges to help him defeat the Night King.

But first they have to meet with Cersei, show her their captive undead soldier, and hope that she suddenly has a complete character reversal and decides to agree to a truce. It’s not going to happen guys. I expect some real shit to go down in our big finale next week, in which Cersei and Daenerys meet each other for the first time.

Winners

The Night King – Losing soldiers doesn’t amount to much when you command the dead. But gaining an undead dragon, oh boy! With the Night King’s throwing skills, approaching him with a dragon is no longer a feasible option, either. Also he has his own damn dracolich now. Will he ride it into battle a la the Witch King?

Gendry – Poor Gendry suffered FNG (Fuckin’ New Guy) syndrome on the journey only to be told to haul ass when shit got real. However, Gendry absolutely came through when he needed to, saving everyone with his message to Daenerys.

The Alliance of Ice and Fire –  We were wondering how Jon and Daenerys would come together this season. Like all lasting, healthy relationship it’s forged through the death of a dragon and the onslaught of unstoppable undead armies.

Losers

Winterfell Drama – Can we stop with this already? Watching two good characters descend into petty squabbling is awful. Both Sansa and Arya are acting irrational. Sure they have reason to dislike each other but letting Baelish manipulate them is extremely frustrating.

The Hound – I love ya Sandor but you fucked up twice this episode. You freaked out when the undead bear caught fire and couldn’t help Thoros while he was being mauled. Then you threw a rock onto the ice, causing the undead to realize it was stable enough to cross. No wonder you’re angry all the time.


No Game Over: Pyre and the Acceptance of Failure [Pixelkin]

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